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Letters to Our Daughters: Month Four

Dear Scout,

When I saw this print by FunnelCloud Studio, I immediately thought of you. This kind of advice from a mother may seem trite at first glance. But darling, this is how you look when you wake up every morning:

This will not change.

Ever. (As long as you keep your curly locks).

This I know because I have had curly hair my entire life. It took me more than 20 years to embrace it. And a few more to love it. And, some days, I must confess, we still have an adversarial relationship.

You are fortunate because your mama knows just how to comb your hair so it doesn’t hurt. Which gentle, natural products to use to keep you tangle free and shiny. I know how you should be trimmed and cut. When you are older, I will straighten it for you as a treat on occasion. I was an oddity in my home growing up and no one quite knew what to do with the giant frizzball atop my head. I wore a lot of ponytails. And had more than one terrible, awful haircut.

But my dear, as you may already know, this isn’t really about hair.

My prayer for you is that you will embrace the gifts (and idiosyncrasies) that God has given you. That it will not take you 20 years to love something about yourself. That you will learn that even the most difficult aspects of who you are can be beautiful–even if they need a bit of refinement. I pray that you love your flaws–and see them as part of your character and identity, not as something that is broken or wrong. Of course, we are all born broken in some way, my child, but are made whole through the eyes of Christ. Keep your faith in Him and it will help you to see yourself just as he does, and how I always will: Imperfectly perfect. Just as you were meant to be.

So do not conform to the standards of our world my love. What you have been given is yours for a purpose.

Embrace messy hair. Messy family. Messy life. Messy you.

I love you forever and just as you are my tangly, curly, vibrant girl.



Continue reading through this incredible circle of mothers and daughters. Next, is a letter by a brilliant lifestyle photographer on the other side of the world. Her poignant words and images will captivate you: Kirsty Larmour | Abu Dhabi Photographer

  • Jody - Adore your writing as usual Stephanie. It took me about 25 years to like my red hair, so I can definitely relate to this.ReplyCancel

  • Courtenay - Curly, messy hair is a great metaphor of life. Both should be embraced. Both have been my curse and blessing. Your words are so true & I hope we all listen & learn. Once I embraced faith, the rest was & is easy. Life is easier, and I love my messy, curly life. . . I mean, hair! ❤ReplyCancel

  • Sarah C - We have a little wild haired beauty as well and I love it. I however have had bone straight hair all my life so its been a constant struggle taming my little ones hair lol!! I love this!! She is just so perfect!! I love your letter and the meaning behind it. Just so sweet!!ReplyCancel

  • julia - It’s official, you do this to me EVERY month, Stephanie. With your beautiful words, you strike a nerve in me, make me think, fill my heart, and make me love my life and myself just a little bit more than I did before. I love your sweet daughter’s crazy-wonderful bead head and I thank you, once again, for opening my heart and making me smile.ReplyCancel

  • jaime lackey - I love everything about this. The fact that you all are doing letters to your daughter and the fact that each posts I see is so from the heart and how every mom feels about their girls. I hope this catches on to way more moms even outside of photography. it is so special!ReplyCancel

  • Ginger - I love this and the whole meaning behind it all! I pray this for our three children as well To see their beauties and to find what God designed them for and use it for His Glory!! All the best to you!! I hope you are enjoying Tampa! We chose to live over in our hometown of Lake Wales but my husband, a Marine makes the commute to Macdill daily! Blessings to you!ReplyCancel

  • Rashmi - How true Stephanie. That which we try to fix because it is different is the same thing that makes us unique. Messy hair is definitely a great metaphor for a beautiful messy life.
    PS: if you don’t already have one, get a Tangle Teezer or a Wet Brush.. for whatever magical reason, it does not hurt them when i use those to brush my girls messy hair. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Amy Lucy Lockheart - From someone with two girls with very messy hair, this couldn’t be more special! I completely agree that messy hair is a gift and adds so much character! Love your image and your beautiful letter, Stephanie. xoxoReplyCancel

  • Kirsty - Love this Stephanie, and the whole meaning of it – all so true – I know your little Scout will grow up to embrace it allReplyCancel

  • Scout's Dad - To Steph: As always, beautiful, your eloquence when transcribing emotion to paper hits the heart.

    To Scout: My apologies to you sweet girl…similar to a cat in a bathtub, you grimmace whenever Dad reveals a comb. I often lose the battle against those messy curls! Your mother’s message is spot on. HE made you with purpose in mind….primarily to melt your parents’ hearts.ReplyCancel

  • Letters to Our Daughters | July 2012 » Jody McKitrick - […] inspiring women who are not only talented photographers but amazing writers. Please visit the lovely Stephanie Beaty | Lifeography | Tampa Bay-Area Photographer to continue through the circle. I have admired her photography from afar for a while, but through […]ReplyCancel

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